The Week of June 22nd - June 26, 2009

This has been a crazy week. It feels like I'm actually leaving Bowie for good. Even though I've been home since January 2009, I've been commuting back and forth from Silver Spring to Bowie 5-6 days a week because Savannah was still attending Pointer Ridge Elementary School there and Camille's daycare - Ms. Wanda Furr is there too. Well Savannah completed first grade. Today is their last day at daycare. Next week they start Summer Camp in Silver Spring so I won't be driving to Bowie during the week at all. It's made me feel sentimental - like I was leaving Bowie again. I'm very connected to Bowie, Maryland. I also went for my first Mammogram. Like I said, this has been a crazy week.
First the Metro train had its biggest crash ever here in DC on the Red Line. Nine innocent people died. The Red Line is "our line" for Montgomery County. I was devastated. There were several single parent mothers who passed away suddenly leaving their children without a mother. There were other people who loved their lives that died instantly.
Then on Thursday Farrah Faccett died. She was someone I idolized as a child. From Charlie's Angels - to Burning Bed - to Extremities and all her movies, commercials. She and Ryan were the original Brad and Angelina. I remember when she did her Barbara Walter Specials where she talked about her love of Ryan, being a mother to Redmond, her work, her beauty, her faith. She was so strong. And then Michael Jackson died on the same day!

I realized last night that I don't have any memory of NOT knowing Michael Jackson. My sisters and I watched the Jackson 5 cartoon show when I was around 6 years old. We listened to Jackson 5 45's (Dancing Machine, ABC, etc.) Then I can't tell you how many times I Iistened to the entire OFF THE WALL album. And then there was the history making THRILLER with those creative videos! Then there was Bad, Dangerous, History and Invincible - all of which I loved.
He was an artistic genius that can never be duplicated. I loved all his music and videos. I tried to explain to my daughters that when a MJ video premiered, it was an event. MTV would have NEVER been what it became to be without Michael Jackson. When he performed on Motown's 25th Anniversary show it was revolutionary. I'll never forget that night when he performed and our entire family watched glued to the TV. The screams from the audience were insane. That's what he could do generate excitement like no one else.
Michael Jackson was magic.

"C" Students

A University president was talking to the entire faculty at the university. He said for them to be kind to the "A" students as they would make fine college professors someday. Then he said "be kind to the "B" students for they will be the future doctor's and lawyers." Finally, he said "be kind to the "C" students for one day they will donate a new building for the university." Once you finish school no one I ever met asked me if I were a "C" student or a "B" student. After all....what's the difference? Maybe a few percentage points!!??

Magnesium

I've decided not to exercise for weight loss but instead for better health. I'm also focusing on being kind to my body. Exercising is being kind to my heart and overall health. I'm also "studying" my body.

For example, I take magnesium supplements.

"Magnesium and diabetesDiabetes is a disease resulting in insufficient production and/or inefficient use of insulin. Insulin is a hormone made by the pancreas. Insulin helps convert sugar and starches in food into energy to sustain life. There are two types of diabetes: type 1 and type 2. Type 1 diabetes is most often diagnosed in children and adolescents, and results from the body's inability to make insulin. Type 2 diabetes, which is sometimes referred to as adult-onset diabetes, is the most common form of diabetes. It is usually seen in adults and is most often associated with an inability to use the insulin made by the pancreas. Obesity is a risk factor for developing type 2 diabetes. In recent years, rates of type 2 diabetes have increased along with the rising rates of obesity. Magnesium plays an important role in carbohydrate metabolism. It may influence the release and activity of insulin, the hormone that helps control blood glucose (sugar) levels [13]. Low blood levels of magnesium (hypomagnesemia) are frequently seen in individuals with type 2 diabetes. Hypomagnesemia may worsen insulin resistance, a condition that often precedes diabetes, or may be a consequence of insulin resistance. Individuals with insulin resistance do not use insulin efficiently and require greater amounts of insulin to maintain blood sugar within normal levels. The kidneys possibly lose their ability to retain magnesium during periods of severe hyperglycemia (significantly elevated blood glucose). The increased loss of magnesium in urine may then result in lower blood levels of magnesium [4]. In older adults, correcting magnesium depletion may improve insulin response and action [42]. "

The complete article is http://ods.od.nih.gov/factsheets/magnesium.asp#h3

Frustrating!

Last night I worked out on the treadmill for 42 minutes and guess what? I feel bloated and FAT today. There's nothing more frustrating. That's why I would never have a male personal trainer or even buy a DVD with a guy as the teacher. Men don't know what it feels like to bloat during our cycles. It's awful. I gain weight - up to 5-7 lbs. primarily water weight and it contributes weight gain because I get used to the feeling and just ignore it. My appetite balloons for nearly a week and then it goes away but I may hold onto 1-2 pounds. What's a pound right? Well it adds up week after week and before I know it, I've gained 20 pounds. That's about right. If I ignore my health - no exercising or eating healthy, by the end of the year, I've gained 20 pounds or so. I gain weight slowly and steadily. And what if I'm stressed out or depressed? Watch out!

Feel like giving up today but I won't. It's a wonderful opportunity to exercise for my health not just to drop pounds. My heart is getting healthier through exercise. I won't stop in fact, my plan is to increase my exercise. I've only been exercising about 2 times a week. I need to increase to 4 times a week. It's going to be hard but I must do it! Just sharing.

My Weight Loss Journey

I hope you all don't mind sharing my journey with you. It will help me to stay on track.
Let me just start with acknowledging the fact that everyone has to go through their own journey. We all become overweight for different reasons that are often a combination of reasons. I think examining those should be the first step before beginning. I'm developing a graph of my reasons and my obstacles.

I'm not ready to share that list with you yet but I will say that I say the affirmation, "I treat myself with kindness" with my eyes closed and it has figuratively opened my eyes to seeing that eating unhealthy and not exercising is not being kind to my body and therefore my soul.

Okay, I began by walking on the treadmill 2 times a week (Mondays and Wednesdays - I'm trying to do it every other day to include the weekends.) In the beginning I could only do about 4 minutes, which depressed me but I continued. Now I can walk/run for 40 minutes.
I walk for ~10 minutes briskly and then run for ONE minute (increasing the speed) and then walk for another 10 minutes, then run again, etc. Any input on improving this from anyone? Should I focus on walking longer or running more?

Treadmills are good for Moms. I do it at night when I get my daughters to bed.

So far I've lost 11 pounds. My goal is to be in a normal BMI range. I have a long way to go. I determined to be healthy. That would be about 32 more pounds to go!

Thanks for letting me share.

Loving My Body

I'm working out! Last night I worked out on the treadmill for 43 minutes! I'm so proud. I'm going to get there. The goal is to be healthy - within a normal BMI range for my body weight. I have a long weigh to go. I can't blame having 2 children. I was fortunate that my pregnancies helped me to LOSE weight. For me, weight gain is connected to many factors in my life right now such as...not being in a loving relationship. STRESS is probably the number one thing on my list. Food definitely comforts me - it calms me down on a stressful day/moment. Tiredness also pushes me towards food. Well my life is less stressful. I'm not as tired. I'm coping with being single again. All these things are helping me to lose weight. My affirmation is "I treat myself with kindness." That automatically encourages me to not eat unhealthy "mean" things for my body. I'm taking fish oil for its Omega 3's and I use extra virgin olive oil when I cook. These things are kinder to my body. So far I've lost 4 pounds. I also practice saying, "I love my life. I love me."

More changes. It seems like it's like this every Summer. I'm actually excited about this Summer. First Savannah, now Camille. Camille and I went to her orientation for Kindergarten. It was a such a special day for us. She is SO excited to start school. Savannah will be starting 2nd grade! My girls are growing up!

They are going to Summer Camp in Silver Spring. I'm excited for them. We're going to the beach again but this time for a longer time! I'm so excited. My daughters had the BEST time last summer.

The commute back and forth to Bowie is about to end. It's as though I'll finally leave Bowie. I love Bowie but I'm excited to live in Silver Spring, my hometown. It's changed a LOT.

Dad just celebrated his 74th birthday! I'm so proud. Mom is coming right up too. I'm so fortunate to have both of my parents and overall they are doing very well. Some how they both are still able to be there for me.

I think my daughters are better at change than me.

I'm working out on the treadmill. I'm determined to get into shape and be healthy. I attend my CODA meetings. I pray a lot. I say my affirmations. I dream a lot. I breathe. I keep going.