RASCAL FLATTS LYRICS
What Hurts The Most
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do
It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do Ooohhh....
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Vinyasa - Yoga
I love Vinyasa yoga.
Vinyasa is a general term that is used to describe many different types of classes. Vinyasa, which means breath-synchronized movement, tends to be a more vigorous style based on the performance of a series of poses called Sun Salutations, in which movement is matched to the breath. A Vinyasa class will typically start with a number of Sun Salutations to warm up the body for more intense stretching that's done at the end of class.
Vinyasa is a general term that is used to describe many different types of classes. Vinyasa, which means breath-synchronized movement, tends to be a more vigorous style based on the performance of a series of poses called Sun Salutations, in which movement is matched to the breath. A Vinyasa class will typically start with a number of Sun Salutations to warm up the body for more intense stretching that's done at the end of class.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Attorney Joke
A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below.
Descending a bit more he shouted, "Excuse me, can you help? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I do not know where I am."
The woman replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40/41 degrees latitude, north, and 59/60 degrees west, longitude."
"You must be a paralegal" said the balloonist.
"I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information and the fact is, I am still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all, if anything, you have delayed my trip."
The woman below responded, "You must be "attorney".
"I am," replied the balloonist, "How did you know?"
"Well," replied the woman, "You don't know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problem. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now - -somehow -- it is my fault."
Descending a bit more he shouted, "Excuse me, can you help? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I do not know where I am."
The woman replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40/41 degrees latitude, north, and 59/60 degrees west, longitude."
"You must be a paralegal" said the balloonist.
"I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information and the fact is, I am still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all, if anything, you have delayed my trip."
The woman below responded, "You must be "attorney".
"I am," replied the balloonist, "How did you know?"
"Well," replied the woman, "You don't know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problem. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now - -somehow -- it is my fault."
Friday, March 20, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Savannah is 7 years old!
My Savannah turned 7 years old on March 16th! She had a wild and crazy sleep over hosted by Terri for Amira (Savannah's soul sister) and Savannah. She had a great time. I can't wait until the pictures come back.
Camille was sick with a terrible virus so she couldn't stay overnight. She went home with me. Get better Cammy! She's been sick a whole week now. When she's sick, I'm always a little depressed.
Savannah is becoming more beautiful everyday.
Savannah is reading more and more. Her first book she can read all by herself is "Fat Cat." It's a book that focuses on the long "a" sound...cat, rat, Pat, bat, etc. It's a cute book. We have so much more books to read before the end of this month!
Right now she's working on learning about groups/sets in graphs. Isn't that a bit much for 1st Grade? It's really hard to explain it to her when we do homework every night. In Science she's learning about matter, solids and liquids. I love her Science book.
I got Savannah a MP3 Player for her birthday. I put a few Disneymania CD's on it for her. So far she loves it. She learning all the buttons still. I just hope she doesn't lose it.
I adore Savannah. We are so close. We will always be.
I hope Camille is feeling a little better. Tomorrow is Friday, it's been a HARD week. I think I have Camille's virus. Oh well, gotta keep going.
ttyl
Camille was sick with a terrible virus so she couldn't stay overnight. She went home with me. Get better Cammy! She's been sick a whole week now. When she's sick, I'm always a little depressed.
Savannah is becoming more beautiful everyday.
Savannah is reading more and more. Her first book she can read all by herself is "Fat Cat." It's a book that focuses on the long "a" sound...cat, rat, Pat, bat, etc. It's a cute book. We have so much more books to read before the end of this month!
Right now she's working on learning about groups/sets in graphs. Isn't that a bit much for 1st Grade? It's really hard to explain it to her when we do homework every night. In Science she's learning about matter, solids and liquids. I love her Science book.
I got Savannah a MP3 Player for her birthday. I put a few Disneymania CD's on it for her. So far she loves it. She learning all the buttons still. I just hope she doesn't lose it.
I adore Savannah. We are so close. We will always be.
I hope Camille is feeling a little better. Tomorrow is Friday, it's been a HARD week. I think I have Camille's virus. Oh well, gotta keep going.
ttyl
The Middle Class Trap
Middle Class Benefits Trap
As the Middle Class continues to lose jobs, the benefits are not set up to help us through this difficult time. Many hard working Americans are taking contracting/temp jobs in the interim to get by. However, the salary from my temp/contracting job is still too much to get help by Family Services to reduce daycare costs, obtain Food Stamps to eat or qualify for affordable housing of any kind.
The Lower Class qualify for Pre-K, Food Stamps, Daycare vouchers, Section 8 Housing, etc. The Lower Class even has more options in obtaining higher education. The lower you make, the more grants you qualify for! The Upper Class is rich and can afford all of the above paying right out of pocket.
That leaves the Middle Class TRAPPED not being able to afford daycare costs so we can goto work, food to eat or a home rented or purchased. Higher education to increase skills is more difficult as well.
What is the task force going to do to improve the "Middle Class TRAP?"
The Middle Class is being punished for working hard and paying taxes! Something neither the Upper or Lower class seem to do!
As the Middle Class continues to lose jobs, the benefits are not set up to help us through this difficult time. Many hard working Americans are taking contracting/temp jobs in the interim to get by. However, the salary from my temp/contracting job is still too much to get help by Family Services to reduce daycare costs, obtain Food Stamps to eat or qualify for affordable housing of any kind.
The Lower Class qualify for Pre-K, Food Stamps, Daycare vouchers, Section 8 Housing, etc. The Lower Class even has more options in obtaining higher education. The lower you make, the more grants you qualify for! The Upper Class is rich and can afford all of the above paying right out of pocket.
That leaves the Middle Class TRAPPED not being able to afford daycare costs so we can goto work, food to eat or a home rented or purchased. Higher education to increase skills is more difficult as well.
What is the task force going to do to improve the "Middle Class TRAP?"
The Middle Class is being punished for working hard and paying taxes! Something neither the Upper or Lower class seem to do!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Things to do
1. Become a member of Dr. Mills Dentist office in prep for Crown - April 29th @9am Root Canal! 13975 Conn. Ave.
2. Change of Address for Toyota - make arrangements
3. Sallie Mae - student loan deferrment
4. Chevy Chase - student loan deferrment
5. Aftercare and Summer Camp Registration
6. Woodlin Elementary - May 7th or 8th Registration for Savannah and Camille
7. Daycare assistance - complete package and mail
8. Government passwords
9. Update my resume
10. Contact Bowie State University regarding getting back into the Master's Program
2. Change of Address for Toyota - make arrangements
3. Sallie Mae - student loan deferrment
4. Chevy Chase - student loan deferrment
5. Aftercare and Summer Camp Registration
6. Woodlin Elementary - May 7th or 8th Registration for Savannah and Camille
7. Daycare assistance - complete package and mail
8. Government passwords
9. Update my resume
10. Contact Bowie State University regarding getting back into the Master's Program
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Missing Honey Today
Today I miss Honey a LOT. I miss her breath coming out her nose the most. It reminded me she was alive - that I was alive. She could talk with her nose. She could nudge me in a playful way when I was down. She could touch me with her nose to let me know she's ready to go to sleep. She could smell ANYTHING - even my peanut butter cookie in my purse that I tried to hide from her! She could smell another dog a MILE away. I wrote a letter to her right before she crossed over on November 17th, 2008. I read it again today. Here it is:
Honey,
I love you and I know you love me. I know you've grown to love Savannah and Camille too. I know you love and have easily forgiven Sean. When Sean brought you home nearly 12 years ago, I was not ready to be a dog Mom. However, I fell in love with you right away. I've been your protector and defender for so long. I've fed you. I gave you water to drink. I took you to the vet for shots, to remove a nail that accidently went into your leg, to get shots for the hives, 2 ear hematoma surgeries, to be spade, etc. When others thought I was crazy to live with a pit bull I passionately spoke up for you. When people including my parents thought I was irresponsible to have a pit bull with my newborn babies, I kept you and continued to love and take care of you the best I could. When people gave me mean looks when I walked you, I looked the other way. I walked you. I kissed you. I didn't take trips because I didn't want you to have to go to a shelter. You've slept in my bed with me for nearly 12 years now. I bought huge crates so you won't be cramped. You've rarely gone in the crate for many years now. When you chewed up ALL my comforters, I just bought new ones. I bought you tons of cookies as treats. I bought you real bones for you to use your adorable but powerful jaw on. I fought to keep you when the pit bull ban threatened to destroy you. I fought against the state, Sean, society, friends and the media.
I just wish I could have walked you more. I know you love that. I wish I could have taken you more places to see. The biggest regret I have is I wish you could have had a dog friend to spend the day with while I was at work. I didn't know pit bulls could play with other dogs. I'm really sorry about that.
You have lived in many places with me. You first came to live with us in West Hyattsville. I often wonder if you remember that place. You were just a puppy. You had SO much energy. Then we moved to our first home in Bowie. Remember that one? You loved the backyard. I love to think of you resting in the sun out back and sitting on the couch looking at the window and scratching the paint off the front window when a dog went by. We took you to that West Virginia cabin. Remember that place? You LOVED it there. Then we moved to Annapolis - finally you were legal but we were in an apartment. It wasn't easy finding a place that would take you. At least you were walked a LOT. Remember those long walks? I do. I always will. And now you're back with me in Bowie with another backyard. I promised you another backyard and we did. You were there with me for so many fun and difficult times in my life.
Now you have arithitis. You don't walk the same. The bone in your back sticks out more. You have this black growth on your leg. Your poor ears have had it. One infection after another. I clean them out. I put antibiotic cream in there. It clears up and then it comes right back. I can tell you're tired of them too. I know you're in pain sometimes because of the ears. You scratch until they bleed sometimes. Sometimes you don't get up to meet me at the door when I come home now. It's too much effort so you sleep on the couch so you don't have to do the stairs. At nighttime it's so hard for you to come up stairs to get into bed and it's really hard to get up in the morning to go outside to go to the bathroom. I just know it's time.
Now I have dreams of you going to a place where you don't have to take your time to get up. You can run freely again. Your ears don't bother you at all. They are back to the way they used to look - cute and floppy. That ugly growth isn't there. You even have a friend to play with. That's what I want for you - to be happy. Don't worry about me. Just look for me when I cross over one day. I'll look for you. Remember I'll always love you.
Honey,
I love you and I know you love me. I know you've grown to love Savannah and Camille too. I know you love and have easily forgiven Sean. When Sean brought you home nearly 12 years ago, I was not ready to be a dog Mom. However, I fell in love with you right away. I've been your protector and defender for so long. I've fed you. I gave you water to drink. I took you to the vet for shots, to remove a nail that accidently went into your leg, to get shots for the hives, 2 ear hematoma surgeries, to be spade, etc. When others thought I was crazy to live with a pit bull I passionately spoke up for you. When people including my parents thought I was irresponsible to have a pit bull with my newborn babies, I kept you and continued to love and take care of you the best I could. When people gave me mean looks when I walked you, I looked the other way. I walked you. I kissed you. I didn't take trips because I didn't want you to have to go to a shelter. You've slept in my bed with me for nearly 12 years now. I bought huge crates so you won't be cramped. You've rarely gone in the crate for many years now. When you chewed up ALL my comforters, I just bought new ones. I bought you tons of cookies as treats. I bought you real bones for you to use your adorable but powerful jaw on. I fought to keep you when the pit bull ban threatened to destroy you. I fought against the state, Sean, society, friends and the media.
I just wish I could have walked you more. I know you love that. I wish I could have taken you more places to see. The biggest regret I have is I wish you could have had a dog friend to spend the day with while I was at work. I didn't know pit bulls could play with other dogs. I'm really sorry about that.
You have lived in many places with me. You first came to live with us in West Hyattsville. I often wonder if you remember that place. You were just a puppy. You had SO much energy. Then we moved to our first home in Bowie. Remember that one? You loved the backyard. I love to think of you resting in the sun out back and sitting on the couch looking at the window and scratching the paint off the front window when a dog went by. We took you to that West Virginia cabin. Remember that place? You LOVED it there. Then we moved to Annapolis - finally you were legal but we were in an apartment. It wasn't easy finding a place that would take you. At least you were walked a LOT. Remember those long walks? I do. I always will. And now you're back with me in Bowie with another backyard. I promised you another backyard and we did. You were there with me for so many fun and difficult times in my life.
Now you have arithitis. You don't walk the same. The bone in your back sticks out more. You have this black growth on your leg. Your poor ears have had it. One infection after another. I clean them out. I put antibiotic cream in there. It clears up and then it comes right back. I can tell you're tired of them too. I know you're in pain sometimes because of the ears. You scratch until they bleed sometimes. Sometimes you don't get up to meet me at the door when I come home now. It's too much effort so you sleep on the couch so you don't have to do the stairs. At nighttime it's so hard for you to come up stairs to get into bed and it's really hard to get up in the morning to go outside to go to the bathroom. I just know it's time.
Now I have dreams of you going to a place where you don't have to take your time to get up. You can run freely again. Your ears don't bother you at all. They are back to the way they used to look - cute and floppy. That ugly growth isn't there. You even have a friend to play with. That's what I want for you - to be happy. Don't worry about me. Just look for me when I cross over one day. I'll look for you. Remember I'll always love you.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Suffering
"Think too of all who suffer as if you shared their pain. " Hebrews 13:3 (J.B. Phillips)
Ton Lin - inhaling pain and exhaling relief....
Ton Lin - inhaling pain and exhaling relief....
Monday, March 9, 2009
Dog Whisperer says pit bull ban is bad news
Cesar Millan poses with dogs. (CP PHOTO/HO)
'Dog whisperer' says pit bull ban is bad news
Updated Sat. May. 27 2006 1:35 PM ET
Canadian Press
TORONTO -- Ontario's pit bull ban is an unfair law based on ignorance - because getting rid of a breed of dog doesn't get rid of the problem, says celebrity dog trainer Cesar Millan.
Millan, known as the Dog Whisperer for his uncanny ability to solve canine behavioural problems, was in Toronto this week promoting his National Geographic Channel show and the recent DVD release of the first season's episodes.
"In the United States, in the '70s, they did the same thing to the Doberman. In the '80s they did it to the German shepherd, in the '90s they did it to the Rottweiler, and now they're doing it to the pit bull," he says.
"So whatever dog is in fashion, people are going to blame them for things."
Under the Ontario ban, which was passed last August, it is illegal to own, breed, transfer, abandon or import pit bulls or other breeds "substantially similar" to pit bulls. Owners who violate the law can be fined up to $10,000 and/or be sentenced to six months in jail. The court can also order a dog to be destroyed.
For the Dog Whisperer, there are no bad dogs nor bad breeds, just bad owners who need to be trained. On his show he displays a remarkable ability to rehabilitate once-dangerous pooches because he knows how to position himself as the alpha dog, the leader of the pack.
The worst thing an owner can do, he says, is to heap affection on a pet without balancing it with discipline and exercise. In the dog's eyes, that means the owner isn't a boss to be respected - and the result is a range of problems from disobedience to outright violence.
So Millan doesn't think much of the controversial Ontario law aimed at eventually eliminating the pit bull from the province.
"It's not fair," he says. "They're not going to defend themselves. They're not going to go to court and say, 'Look guys, it's not us. You guys don't walk us every day, you guys don't give us rules, limitations every day.' "
While Rin Tin Tin and Lassie are always touted as dog heroes in the movies, what about Petey of The Little Rascals, he asks. The dog with the famous circle painted around his eye was a lovable pit bull in the old Our Gang movie shorts.
Loving a dog is one thing, humanizing and pampering the animal is another, he maintains.
"It's a selfish attitude because it's what the human wants, instead of really seeing the picture - what does the dog need?"
And intelligence does not make a good pack leader/trainer, Millan says.
"I have Harvard graduates for clients who can't control a chihuahua."
In one rather scary scene from his show, Millan is seen stooping and placing his face right into a dish of dog food where a pit bull is eagerly eating. He even pokes the dog in the side of the face, but the animal respects the relationship and continues eating without snapping.
In Los Angeles, there are many homeless men who have pit bulls, he says, but they're not on a leash and yet they never attack anyone or misbehave.
"Homeless is homeless. He has no money. But he practises leadership behaviour. The dog doesn't see them as homeless. The dog sees them as pack leader."
For the record, Millan has been doing his thing for 20 years and claims a 99 per cent success rate with his rehabilitation techniques. In that time, there have been only two "bad" dogs he was unable to return to society, he adds.
Asked about his claim that he was born with his dog whisperer ability, Millan says he grew up on a ranch in Mexico where he learned animal communications skills from his grandfather.
"It's the tendency to be with animals, to spend more time with animals," he says. "So it's an innate behaviour . . . You are born with that innate ability to connect and if somebody nurtures that you can become the dog whisperer."
Yes, he has been bitten.
"Of course," he says matter-of-factly. "It's like cowboys that get stomped by bulls. Any time you're working in the world of taming animals, you're going to get hurt. But it's a rush that we get."
And his practice isn't without issues.
Earlier this month, a TV producer in Los Angeles filed a lawsuit against him claiming his dog was injured at Millan's psychology centre. Another suit filed in April claimed copyright infringement for his use of the name Dog Whisperer.
At the same time, Millan enjoys the admiration of such famous dog owners as Oprah Winfrey, Will Smith and Scarlett Johansson.
By the way, Millan has six dogs of his own: two Italian greyhounds, two springer spaniels, one chihuahua and one Chinese crested.
He's asked the inevitable dog lover's question: Why do we bond so strongly with a species that has a much shorter lifespan, pretty much guaranteeing a grieving experience as our pets grow older and die before us?
"Birth, life, death is a cycle. And they're all beautiful, you celebrate all of them," he says about the pet owner's inevitable heartbreak.
"Animals do grieve, but they move on. That's the lesson behind animals."
'Dog whisperer' says pit bull ban is bad news
Updated Sat. May. 27 2006 1:35 PM ET
Canadian Press
TORONTO -- Ontario's pit bull ban is an unfair law based on ignorance - because getting rid of a breed of dog doesn't get rid of the problem, says celebrity dog trainer Cesar Millan.
Millan, known as the Dog Whisperer for his uncanny ability to solve canine behavioural problems, was in Toronto this week promoting his National Geographic Channel show and the recent DVD release of the first season's episodes.
"In the United States, in the '70s, they did the same thing to the Doberman. In the '80s they did it to the German shepherd, in the '90s they did it to the Rottweiler, and now they're doing it to the pit bull," he says.
"So whatever dog is in fashion, people are going to blame them for things."
Under the Ontario ban, which was passed last August, it is illegal to own, breed, transfer, abandon or import pit bulls or other breeds "substantially similar" to pit bulls. Owners who violate the law can be fined up to $10,000 and/or be sentenced to six months in jail. The court can also order a dog to be destroyed.
For the Dog Whisperer, there are no bad dogs nor bad breeds, just bad owners who need to be trained. On his show he displays a remarkable ability to rehabilitate once-dangerous pooches because he knows how to position himself as the alpha dog, the leader of the pack.
The worst thing an owner can do, he says, is to heap affection on a pet without balancing it with discipline and exercise. In the dog's eyes, that means the owner isn't a boss to be respected - and the result is a range of problems from disobedience to outright violence.
So Millan doesn't think much of the controversial Ontario law aimed at eventually eliminating the pit bull from the province.
"It's not fair," he says. "They're not going to defend themselves. They're not going to go to court and say, 'Look guys, it's not us. You guys don't walk us every day, you guys don't give us rules, limitations every day.' "
While Rin Tin Tin and Lassie are always touted as dog heroes in the movies, what about Petey of The Little Rascals, he asks. The dog with the famous circle painted around his eye was a lovable pit bull in the old Our Gang movie shorts.
Loving a dog is one thing, humanizing and pampering the animal is another, he maintains.
"It's a selfish attitude because it's what the human wants, instead of really seeing the picture - what does the dog need?"
And intelligence does not make a good pack leader/trainer, Millan says.
"I have Harvard graduates for clients who can't control a chihuahua."
In one rather scary scene from his show, Millan is seen stooping and placing his face right into a dish of dog food where a pit bull is eagerly eating. He even pokes the dog in the side of the face, but the animal respects the relationship and continues eating without snapping.
In Los Angeles, there are many homeless men who have pit bulls, he says, but they're not on a leash and yet they never attack anyone or misbehave.
"Homeless is homeless. He has no money. But he practises leadership behaviour. The dog doesn't see them as homeless. The dog sees them as pack leader."
For the record, Millan has been doing his thing for 20 years and claims a 99 per cent success rate with his rehabilitation techniques. In that time, there have been only two "bad" dogs he was unable to return to society, he adds.
Asked about his claim that he was born with his dog whisperer ability, Millan says he grew up on a ranch in Mexico where he learned animal communications skills from his grandfather.
"It's the tendency to be with animals, to spend more time with animals," he says. "So it's an innate behaviour . . . You are born with that innate ability to connect and if somebody nurtures that you can become the dog whisperer."
Yes, he has been bitten.
"Of course," he says matter-of-factly. "It's like cowboys that get stomped by bulls. Any time you're working in the world of taming animals, you're going to get hurt. But it's a rush that we get."
And his practice isn't without issues.
Earlier this month, a TV producer in Los Angeles filed a lawsuit against him claiming his dog was injured at Millan's psychology centre. Another suit filed in April claimed copyright infringement for his use of the name Dog Whisperer.
At the same time, Millan enjoys the admiration of such famous dog owners as Oprah Winfrey, Will Smith and Scarlett Johansson.
By the way, Millan has six dogs of his own: two Italian greyhounds, two springer spaniels, one chihuahua and one Chinese crested.
He's asked the inevitable dog lover's question: Why do we bond so strongly with a species that has a much shorter lifespan, pretty much guaranteeing a grieving experience as our pets grow older and die before us?
"Birth, life, death is a cycle. And they're all beautiful, you celebrate all of them," he says about the pet owner's inevitable heartbreak.
"Animals do grieve, but they move on. That's the lesson behind animals."
Affirmation: This very moment....
This very moment is the perfect teacher. Fortunately for us, it's with us everyday. Pema Chrodron.
Letter to Michael Vick - 8/3/2007
Dear Michael Vick,
Is this what they do "down South"? Does it make it right? Did you know pit bull fighting is morally wrong? I don't think you do. What is this all about? What's the big deal, right?
Did you know pit bulls feel pain? Just because their strong and muscular doesn't mean they enjoy fighting until death. It takes a real coward to teach animals to fight for enjoyment. You will pay one way or another. I don't want you to go to jail or lose your job. You won't learn that way. I do think you should lose endorsements. You are a poor example of a talented athlete. Yes, there are African Americans that don't support this sick behavior. I'm one of them. I know you and your friends think you know all about pit bulls. I do too. I've had a pit bull over over 10 years. Have you ever loved a dog that long before? That's why I know they don't love to fight. You tell yourself that to justify this cruel behavior.
There's a reason you're facing jail and it's not just because you're black. Dog fighting is wrong. They fight each because they want to please their owners. You are taking advantage of their strength for your enjoyment. Not only are you participating in killing innocent dogs, you're breeding human killers. Did you know serial killers start out doing things like this and then move on to humans? Oh, do you know how hard it is for a pit bull to get adopted? With this coverage, even less may occur. So you see, you've killed a lot more dogs than you think.
Forget the courts, me, animal rights groups that you think are so extreme. Do you think God likes pit bull fighting? I'm sure you call yourself a Christian. Do you think God supports animal torture for fun? God gives you all this talent and money. Are you using it in the right way? Betting on the what pit bull will die first? Is this God's plan for you? Instead of leading other African American males to higher places, you're leading them to jail. You're rich enough for a good "defense". Your celebrity and money should keep you out of jail but what about your "friends?"
I was one of your biggest fans. You're so brillant on the football field but what about your character as a man? Whenever, the press didn't give you your much deserved praise for your work as Quarterback, I always spoke up and supported you. You have redefined the Quarterback position in the NFL. You are by far the best. How could you do this? You really let me and a lot of people down - way down. Honey, my pit bull, loves to watch you play football. She didn't know you torture animals for fun during the off season. You really let us ALL down.
Can you apologize and admit pit bull fighting is wrong? At least do that.
Your ex-fan.
Drina, a pit bull mother
Is this what they do "down South"? Does it make it right? Did you know pit bull fighting is morally wrong? I don't think you do. What is this all about? What's the big deal, right?
Did you know pit bulls feel pain? Just because their strong and muscular doesn't mean they enjoy fighting until death. It takes a real coward to teach animals to fight for enjoyment. You will pay one way or another. I don't want you to go to jail or lose your job. You won't learn that way. I do think you should lose endorsements. You are a poor example of a talented athlete. Yes, there are African Americans that don't support this sick behavior. I'm one of them. I know you and your friends think you know all about pit bulls. I do too. I've had a pit bull over over 10 years. Have you ever loved a dog that long before? That's why I know they don't love to fight. You tell yourself that to justify this cruel behavior.
There's a reason you're facing jail and it's not just because you're black. Dog fighting is wrong. They fight each because they want to please their owners. You are taking advantage of their strength for your enjoyment. Not only are you participating in killing innocent dogs, you're breeding human killers. Did you know serial killers start out doing things like this and then move on to humans? Oh, do you know how hard it is for a pit bull to get adopted? With this coverage, even less may occur. So you see, you've killed a lot more dogs than you think.
Forget the courts, me, animal rights groups that you think are so extreme. Do you think God likes pit bull fighting? I'm sure you call yourself a Christian. Do you think God supports animal torture for fun? God gives you all this talent and money. Are you using it in the right way? Betting on the what pit bull will die first? Is this God's plan for you? Instead of leading other African American males to higher places, you're leading them to jail. You're rich enough for a good "defense". Your celebrity and money should keep you out of jail but what about your "friends?"
I was one of your biggest fans. You're so brillant on the football field but what about your character as a man? Whenever, the press didn't give you your much deserved praise for your work as Quarterback, I always spoke up and supported you. You have redefined the Quarterback position in the NFL. You are by far the best. How could you do this? You really let me and a lot of people down - way down. Honey, my pit bull, loves to watch you play football. She didn't know you torture animals for fun during the off season. You really let us ALL down.
Can you apologize and admit pit bull fighting is wrong? At least do that.
Your ex-fan.
Drina, a pit bull mother
Letter to Honey - 8/21/2007
Honey,
No one knows you like I know you. You love balls. You love bottle tops - especially beer tops (please stop putting them in your food bowl. It's embarrassing.) You love to bite twigs into tiny pieces. Your absolute favorite is sitting on the grass in the backyard with the sun on your face! I love to watch you outside. Oh, you also LOVE to jump and try and catch the water from the waterhose - I forgot.
You love when I walk you - even though I've gotten strict with you. You know when I'm sad. You always lean on me until I feel better. When Daddy isn't home, you jump off the bed over every little sound trying to alert me of any problems - even when you're really sleepy. You always lean on me in the bed. You LOVE bacon. You love your peanut butter cookie snacks. You're so sweet. Please don't destroy our King comforter - pleeze. We can't afford to get another one! :)
These days you sleep a lot but for an old lady, you sure have a lot of energy for jumping up on the tree, chasing squirrels you never catch, barking at dogs on the TV (which drives me crazy), chewing on your bones, catching balls I throw as far as I can, etc. You always seem to embrace life - that's contagious. Thank you. I can't believe you're over 10 years old. I hope you stay with us forever. I don't think I could've made it without you. Your kindness and loyalty is so special to experience. I love you. Your Mother, Drina.
No one knows you like I know you. You love balls. You love bottle tops - especially beer tops (please stop putting them in your food bowl. It's embarrassing.) You love to bite twigs into tiny pieces. Your absolute favorite is sitting on the grass in the backyard with the sun on your face! I love to watch you outside. Oh, you also LOVE to jump and try and catch the water from the waterhose - I forgot.
You love when I walk you - even though I've gotten strict with you. You know when I'm sad. You always lean on me until I feel better. When Daddy isn't home, you jump off the bed over every little sound trying to alert me of any problems - even when you're really sleepy. You always lean on me in the bed. You LOVE bacon. You love your peanut butter cookie snacks. You're so sweet. Please don't destroy our King comforter - pleeze. We can't afford to get another one! :)
These days you sleep a lot but for an old lady, you sure have a lot of energy for jumping up on the tree, chasing squirrels you never catch, barking at dogs on the TV (which drives me crazy), chewing on your bones, catching balls I throw as far as I can, etc. You always seem to embrace life - that's contagious. Thank you. I can't believe you're over 10 years old. I hope you stay with us forever. I don't think I could've made it without you. Your kindness and loyalty is so special to experience. I love you. Your Mother, Drina.
When Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe
Right now I'm almost done reading Chinua Achebe's When Things Fall Apart. His writing is so proper. The male centered descriptions are hard to ignore (male weakness = being womanly, for example) but it takes me to an imaginary time when "missionaries" first arrived in an African country to introduce the Christian religion and its government. Okonwko, the main character is a strong warrior that is broken apart by the agenda of the missionaries. Towards the end you realize it's not just Okonwko that's falling apart but his clan, his family (Nwoye), his people all fall apart. "Now he has won our brothers, and our clan can no longer act as one. He has put a knife on the things that held us together and we have fallen apart."
Saturday, March 7, 2009
I only allow that which is good into my life
I only allow that which is good into my life.
No one can depress me. No one can make me anxious. No one can hurt my feelings. No one can make me anything other than what I allow inside.
No one can depress me. No one can make me anxious. No one can hurt my feelings. No one can make me anything other than what I allow inside.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Protesting Foreclosures
ACORN To Protest Foreclosures In Washington D.C.PITTSBURGH (KDKA)
A community group's bid to stop the foreclosure crisis in the area is heading to the nation's capital.
Local members of the group ACORN (Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now) are in Washington for a rally.
They hope to call attention to the growing foreclosure crisis that's affected hundreds of people in Western Pennsylvania.
The trip is being called the emergency trip for change.
Members are planning to shutdown a foreclosure auction.
ACORN says they hear from local homeowners everyday who are on the brink of losing their homes.
A community group's bid to stop the foreclosure crisis in the area is heading to the nation's capital.
Local members of the group ACORN (Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now) are in Washington for a rally.
They hope to call attention to the growing foreclosure crisis that's affected hundreds of people in Western Pennsylvania.
The trip is being called the emergency trip for change.
Members are planning to shutdown a foreclosure auction.
ACORN says they hear from local homeowners everyday who are on the brink of losing their homes.
Catholic Support for Obama
'I'm Catholic, staunchly anti-abortion, and support Obama By NICHOLAS P. CAFARDI, Religion News Service
Published: September 30, 2008
Editor's note: Nicholas P. Cafardi is the second high profile Catholic legal scholar who is staunchly anti-abortion yet says he supports Barack Obama. Douglas Kmiec, Ronald Reagan's constitutional lawyer as head of the office of legal counsel for the Department of Justice, publicly argued a similar case for Obama several weeks ago.
Commentary
I believe that abortion is an unspeakable evil, yet I support Sen. Barack Obama, who is pro-choice. I do not support him because he is pro-choice, but in spite of it. Is that a proper moral choice for a committed Catholic?As one of the inaugural members of the U.S. bishops' National Review Board on clergy sexual abuse, and as a canon lawyer, I answer with a resounding yes.Despite what some Republicans would like Catholics to believe, the list of what the church calls "intrinsically evil acts" does not begin and end with abortion. In fact, there are many intrinsically evil acts, and a committed Catholic must consider all of them in deciding how to vote.Last November, the U.S. bishops released "Forming Consciences for Faithful Citizenship," a 30-page document that provides several examples of intrinsically evil acts: abortion, euthanasia, embryonic stem-cell research, torture, racism, and targeting noncombatants in acts of war.Nicholas CafardiObama's support for abortion rights has led some to the conclusion that no Catholic can vote for him. That's a mistake. While I have never swayed in my conviction that abortion is an unspeakable evil, I believe that we have lost the abortion battle -- permanently. A vote for Sen. John McCain does not guarantee the end of abortion in America. Not even close.Let's suppose Roe v. Wade were overturned. What would happen? The matter would simply be kicked back to the states -- where it was before 1973. Overturning Roe would not abolish abortion. It would just mean that abortion would be legal in some states and illegal in others. The number of abortions would remain unchanged as long as people could travel.McCain has promised to appoint "strict constructionist" judges who would presumably vote to overturn Roe v. Wade. But is that sufficient reason for a Catholic to vote Republican? To answer that question, let's look at the rest of the church's list of intrinsically evil acts.Both McCain and Obama get failing marks on embryonic stem-cell research, which Catholic teaching opposes. The last time the issue was up for a vote in the Senate, both men voted to ease existing restrictions.But what about an unjust war? In 2003, then-Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger (now Pope Benedict XVI) said flatly that "reasons sufficient for unleashing a war against Iraq did not exist." McCain voted for it; Obama opposed it.What about torture? "There is no longer any doubt as to whether the current administration has committed war crimes," according to Antonio Taguba, the retired major general who investigated abuses in Iraq. Obama opposes the use of torture in all cases; McCain, himself a victim of torture, voted to allow the CIA to use so-called "enhanced interrogation techniques" -- a euphemism for torture.How, some may ask, can I compare these evils with abortion? The right to abortion is guaranteed by the federal judiciary's interpretation of the Constitution. And while the president appoints federal judges, the connection between a president's appointments and the decisions rendered by his appointees is tenuous at best. After all, in 1992, five Republican-appointed justices voted to uphold Roe v. Wade in Planned Parenthood v. Casey. Yet on other intrinsic evils -- an unjust war, torture, ignoring the poor -- I can address those evils directly by changing the president.There's another distinction that is often lost in the culture-war rhetoric on abortion: There is a difference between being pro-choice and being pro-abortion. Obama supports government action that would reduce the number of abortions, and has consistently said that "we should be doing everything we can to avoid unwanted pregnancies that might even lead somebody to consider having an abortion." He favors a "comprehensive approach where ... we are teaching the sacredness of sexuality to our children." And he wants to ensure that adoption is an option for women who might otherwise choose abortion.Obama worked all of that into his party's platform this year. By contrast, Republicans actually removed abortion-reduction language from their platform.What's more, as recent data show, abortion rates drop when the social safety net is strengthened. If Obama's economic program will do more to reduce poverty than McCain's, then is it wrong to conclude that an Obama presidency will also reduce abortions? Not at all.Every faithful Catholic agrees that abortion is an unspeakable evil that must be minimized, if not eliminated. I can help to achieve that without endorsing Republicans' immoral baggage. Overturning Roe v. Wade is not the only way to end abortion, and a vote for Obama is not somehow un-Catholic.The U.S. bishops have urged a "different kind of political engagement," one that is "shaped by the moral convictions of well-formed consciences."I have informed my conscience. I have weighed the facts. I have used my prudential judgment. And I conclude that it is a proper moral choice for this Catholic to support Barack Obama's candidacy.
Cafardi is a civil and canon lawyer, and a professor and former dean at Duquesne University School of Law in Pittsburgh. His most recent book, Before Dallas, examines the bishops' failures in handling the clergy sex abuse crisis.
Published: September 30, 2008
Editor's note: Nicholas P. Cafardi is the second high profile Catholic legal scholar who is staunchly anti-abortion yet says he supports Barack Obama. Douglas Kmiec, Ronald Reagan's constitutional lawyer as head of the office of legal counsel for the Department of Justice, publicly argued a similar case for Obama several weeks ago.
Commentary
I believe that abortion is an unspeakable evil, yet I support Sen. Barack Obama, who is pro-choice. I do not support him because he is pro-choice, but in spite of it. Is that a proper moral choice for a committed Catholic?As one of the inaugural members of the U.S. bishops' National Review Board on clergy sexual abuse, and as a canon lawyer, I answer with a resounding yes.Despite what some Republicans would like Catholics to believe, the list of what the church calls "intrinsically evil acts" does not begin and end with abortion. In fact, there are many intrinsically evil acts, and a committed Catholic must consider all of them in deciding how to vote.Last November, the U.S. bishops released "Forming Consciences for Faithful Citizenship," a 30-page document that provides several examples of intrinsically evil acts: abortion, euthanasia, embryonic stem-cell research, torture, racism, and targeting noncombatants in acts of war.Nicholas CafardiObama's support for abortion rights has led some to the conclusion that no Catholic can vote for him. That's a mistake. While I have never swayed in my conviction that abortion is an unspeakable evil, I believe that we have lost the abortion battle -- permanently. A vote for Sen. John McCain does not guarantee the end of abortion in America. Not even close.Let's suppose Roe v. Wade were overturned. What would happen? The matter would simply be kicked back to the states -- where it was before 1973. Overturning Roe would not abolish abortion. It would just mean that abortion would be legal in some states and illegal in others. The number of abortions would remain unchanged as long as people could travel.McCain has promised to appoint "strict constructionist" judges who would presumably vote to overturn Roe v. Wade. But is that sufficient reason for a Catholic to vote Republican? To answer that question, let's look at the rest of the church's list of intrinsically evil acts.Both McCain and Obama get failing marks on embryonic stem-cell research, which Catholic teaching opposes. The last time the issue was up for a vote in the Senate, both men voted to ease existing restrictions.But what about an unjust war? In 2003, then-Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger (now Pope Benedict XVI) said flatly that "reasons sufficient for unleashing a war against Iraq did not exist." McCain voted for it; Obama opposed it.What about torture? "There is no longer any doubt as to whether the current administration has committed war crimes," according to Antonio Taguba, the retired major general who investigated abuses in Iraq. Obama opposes the use of torture in all cases; McCain, himself a victim of torture, voted to allow the CIA to use so-called "enhanced interrogation techniques" -- a euphemism for torture.How, some may ask, can I compare these evils with abortion? The right to abortion is guaranteed by the federal judiciary's interpretation of the Constitution. And while the president appoints federal judges, the connection between a president's appointments and the decisions rendered by his appointees is tenuous at best. After all, in 1992, five Republican-appointed justices voted to uphold Roe v. Wade in Planned Parenthood v. Casey. Yet on other intrinsic evils -- an unjust war, torture, ignoring the poor -- I can address those evils directly by changing the president.There's another distinction that is often lost in the culture-war rhetoric on abortion: There is a difference between being pro-choice and being pro-abortion. Obama supports government action that would reduce the number of abortions, and has consistently said that "we should be doing everything we can to avoid unwanted pregnancies that might even lead somebody to consider having an abortion." He favors a "comprehensive approach where ... we are teaching the sacredness of sexuality to our children." And he wants to ensure that adoption is an option for women who might otherwise choose abortion.Obama worked all of that into his party's platform this year. By contrast, Republicans actually removed abortion-reduction language from their platform.What's more, as recent data show, abortion rates drop when the social safety net is strengthened. If Obama's economic program will do more to reduce poverty than McCain's, then is it wrong to conclude that an Obama presidency will also reduce abortions? Not at all.Every faithful Catholic agrees that abortion is an unspeakable evil that must be minimized, if not eliminated. I can help to achieve that without endorsing Republicans' immoral baggage. Overturning Roe v. Wade is not the only way to end abortion, and a vote for Obama is not somehow un-Catholic.The U.S. bishops have urged a "different kind of political engagement," one that is "shaped by the moral convictions of well-formed consciences."I have informed my conscience. I have weighed the facts. I have used my prudential judgment. And I conclude that it is a proper moral choice for this Catholic to support Barack Obama's candidacy.
Cafardi is a civil and canon lawyer, and a professor and former dean at Duquesne University School of Law in Pittsburgh. His most recent book, Before Dallas, examines the bishops' failures in handling the clergy sex abuse crisis.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Thanks a lot Alan Greenspan!
Alan Greenspan: ARMed and DangerousThe Federal Reserve chairman's weird affection for adjustable-rate mortgages.By Daniel GrossPosted Friday, Feb. 27, 2004, at 4:47 PM ET Fed chairman or personal finance maven?Democrats frothed and Republicans shuddered this week when Alan Greenspan suggested that Congress slash Social Security benefits. The frenzy was a shame, because it overshadowed an even more controversial statement the Fed chairman made earlier in the week. On Monday, the 78-year-old banker seemed momentarily to morph into peppy-personal finance maven Jean Chtatzky. As the headliner at the Credit Union National Association's meeting—although I'm sure the bankers were also eager to see "David Landis performing as the U.S. Sen. George Norris, original signer of the 1934 Federal Credit Union Act"—Greenspan explained why co nsumers might be better off considering adjustable-rate mortgages, or ARMs, instead of standard fixed-rate mortgages. While fixed-rate mortgages have their benefits, he noted that: PRINTDISCUSSE-MAILRSSRECOMMEND...SINGLE PAGE Yahoo! Buzz FacebookMySpace Mixx Digg Reddit del.icio.us Furl Ma.gnolia SphereStumbleUponCLOSE=0 D Calculations by market analysts of the "option-adjusted spread" on mortgages suggest that the cost of these benefits conferred by fixed-rate mortgages can range from 0.5 percent to 1.2 percent, raising homeowners' annual after-tax mortgage payments by several thousand dollars. Indeed, recent research within the Federal Reserve suggests that many homeowners might have saved tens of thousands of dollars had they held adjustable-rate mortgages rather than fixed-rate mortgages during the past decade, though this would not have been the case, of course, had interest rates trended sharply upward. Well, duh. All advertisements for financial services products—mutual funds, stocks—insist that past performance is no guide to future performance. Greenspan should have said the same. Yes, in hindsight, getting an ARM in 1993, when long-term rates were far higher than they are today, would have been brilliant. But let's say long-term rates had risen over the course of the 1990s. Would he now be lecturing us on how ARMs have cost homeowners thousands of dollars in higher interest rates?Greenspan also conspicuously ignored the non-monetary benefits associated with fixed-rate mortgages. Homebuyers pay a premium for the ability to lock in a fixed interest rate—and hence have utter certainty on the size of their payment for up to three decades. But in return, they receive peace of mind, security, and the ability to plan. By agreeing to a fixed-rate mortgage, home-buyers purchase a cap on the interest rate and, in effect, buy an option to switch to a lower rate. They're placing the interest-rate risk firmly on the balance sheet of the lender. If the market makes you out to be a chump—i.e., if interest rates fall sharply after you've agreed to a fixed-rate mortgage—you can refinan ce. Sure, it costs a few thousand dollars and involves some paper work, but it can save a homeowner many times that amount.Anyone who takes out an ARM essentially assumes interest-rate risk. If interest rates rise over time, your mortgage payments rise, too. In Greenspan's ARM-ed world, homeowners would have to watch interest rates every day, make judgments as to whether they think rates are going to rise or fall, and hedge accordingly. How much is it worth not to have to sift through Greenspan's opaque congressional testimony and monitor speeches by obscure Federal Reserve governors to divine the future path of interest rates?Greenspan also presumes that Americans would be effective market-timers, which recent experience tells us they are most certainly not. In 1993, which would have been an optimal time to purchase an ARM, about 20 percent of mortgage origination volume consisted of ARMs, according to the Mortgage Bankers Association. The figure has bounced around for much of the past decade. In 1998 and 2001, ARMs garnered just 12 percent of mortgage origination volume. The proportion rose sharply to 19 percent in 2003. In other words, just as people rushed out to buy stocks after they moved up dramatically, people frequently rush out to take out ARMs after interest rates fall sharply.Buying an ARM when long-term interest rates are in long-term decline makes sense. But if you buy one in a period when the general trend of interest rates is higher, then you20could be just another American Sucker. And that's why Greenspan's comments seem oddly timed.If ever there were a moment when an ARM didn't seem to a good buy, surely it is now. Interest rates are at historic lows. Can rates drift a little lower? Sure. Can they go significantly lower? Most likely not. The balance of risks, as Greenspan might put it, certainly weighs in favor of interest rates remaining stable or rising over the next several years, not falling. As Greenspan noted in his Social Security comments, there exists in Washington "a dynamic in which large deficits result in ever-growing interest payments that augment deficits in future years." These persistent, massive deficits will certainly place upward pressure on interest rates. And does anybody think the inept band of borrowers and spenders in Washington is going to address the structural imbalances they've created before a crisis sets in and before interest rates start to spike?Strictly speaking, Greenspan is correct. If you borrow money while interest rates are falling, then an ARM is superior to a fixed-rate mortgage. But while homeowners may pay a little less with an ARM, they may wind up sleeping less when rates climb again—as they inevitably do. Man does not live by basis points alone.
Daniel Gross is the Moneybox columnist for Slate and the business columnist for Newsweek. You can e-mail20him at moneybox@slate.com . He is the author of Pop! Why
Daniel Gross is the Moneybox columnist for Slate and the business columnist for Newsweek. You can e-mail20him at moneybox@slate.com . He is the author of Pop! Why
Analysis of the seeds of housing crisis
Grim statistics reveal that as many as 10,000 foreclosures are occuring each day in the United States—and the total is climbing. All this while a financial meltdown roars around the world. Unemployment is high, inflation is increasing, and real estate values are plunging, as is the stock market. Yes, we live in interesting times.
Most of the problems began years ago when banks and savings and loan associations started selling their mortgage loans—rather than holding them—to replenish funds to make more loans. This became the norm in the banking industry, such that today almost no bank continues to hold and collect payments on the loans it makes. This allowed the lender to process many more loans. Unfortunately, it also compromised the underwriting of loans since the loans often were merely hot potatoes quickly sold to others for ownership and servicing.
And then it got worse. In the 1980s lenders began to pool mortgages and securitize them for sale on Wall Street. The quality of individual loans seemingly was irrelevant since most conventional mortgage security pools were backed by Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Because the loans were being sold as a security, small increments of the total loan pool or package could be sold on the national and international stock markets.
As these investments became more and more popular, the secondary mortgage market went on steroids. It began selling mortgage derivatives and futures, and sold pieces of the mortgage pools such as years 1 through 5 or years 21 to 30, much like butchers use all of the pig, including the ears and the oink. The lawyering and marketing were most creative, but the control and valuation were impossible. When the mortgage market began to sputter due to the predatory and unsecured loans, foreclosures increased, causing home values to decline. Like an epidemic, confidence in all mortgages came into question and the entire house of cards began to come down, augmenting the number of foreclosures.
Most of the problems began years ago when banks and savings and loan associations started selling their mortgage loans—rather than holding them—to replenish funds to make more loans. This became the norm in the banking industry, such that today almost no bank continues to hold and collect payments on the loans it makes. This allowed the lender to process many more loans. Unfortunately, it also compromised the underwriting of loans since the loans often were merely hot potatoes quickly sold to others for ownership and servicing.
And then it got worse. In the 1980s lenders began to pool mortgages and securitize them for sale on Wall Street. The quality of individual loans seemingly was irrelevant since most conventional mortgage security pools were backed by Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Because the loans were being sold as a security, small increments of the total loan pool or package could be sold on the national and international stock markets.
As these investments became more and more popular, the secondary mortgage market went on steroids. It began selling mortgage derivatives and futures, and sold pieces of the mortgage pools such as years 1 through 5 or years 21 to 30, much like butchers use all of the pig, including the ears and the oink. The lawyering and marketing were most creative, but the control and valuation were impossible. When the mortgage market began to sputter due to the predatory and unsecured loans, foreclosures increased, causing home values to decline. Like an epidemic, confidence in all mortgages came into question and the entire house of cards began to come down, augmenting the number of foreclosures.
Characteristics of the Co-Dependent in Relationships
1. We come from a dysfunctional family system in which our emotional needs were not met.
2. We received little nurturing ourselves; we try to fill this unmet need vicariously by becoming a care-giver, especially to men who appear needy.
3. We were never able to change our parent(s) into the warm, loving care-taker(s) we longed for; we respond deeply to the familiar type of emotionally unavailable men whom we can again try to change through our love.
4. We are terrified of abandonment; we will do anything to keep a relationship from dissolving.
5. We believe almost nothing is too much trouble, takes too much time, or is too expensive if it will "help" the man we are involved with.
6. We are accustomed to lack of love in personal relationships; we are willing to wait, hope and try harder to please.
7. We are will to take far more than 50 percent of the responsibility, guilt, shame and blame in relationships.
8. Our self esteem is critically low; and deep inside we do not believe we deserve to be happy. Rather, we believe we must earn the right to enjoy life.
9. We have a desperate need to control our relationships, having experienced little security in childhood. We mask our efforts to control people and situations as "being helpful."
10. In a relationship, we are much more in touch with our dream of how it could be than with the reality of our situation.
11. We are addicted to relationships and to emotional pain.
12. We may drawn to people with problems that need fixing, or by being emeshed in situations/relationships that are chaotic, uncertain and emotionally painful, we keep from focusing on our responsibility to ourselves.
13. We may be predisposed biochemically as well as emotionally to abusing chemicals or certain foods, usually sugary ones.
14. We have a tendency toward episodes of depression, which we try to forestall through the excitement provided by an unstable relationship.
15. We are not attracted to men/women who are kind, stable, reliable and interested in us. We find such "nice" men/women boring.
2. We received little nurturing ourselves; we try to fill this unmet need vicariously by becoming a care-giver, especially to men who appear needy.
3. We were never able to change our parent(s) into the warm, loving care-taker(s) we longed for; we respond deeply to the familiar type of emotionally unavailable men whom we can again try to change through our love.
4. We are terrified of abandonment; we will do anything to keep a relationship from dissolving.
5. We believe almost nothing is too much trouble, takes too much time, or is too expensive if it will "help" the man we are involved with.
6. We are accustomed to lack of love in personal relationships; we are willing to wait, hope and try harder to please.
7. We are will to take far more than 50 percent of the responsibility, guilt, shame and blame in relationships.
8. Our self esteem is critically low; and deep inside we do not believe we deserve to be happy. Rather, we believe we must earn the right to enjoy life.
9. We have a desperate need to control our relationships, having experienced little security in childhood. We mask our efforts to control people and situations as "being helpful."
10. In a relationship, we are much more in touch with our dream of how it could be than with the reality of our situation.
11. We are addicted to relationships and to emotional pain.
12. We may drawn to people with problems that need fixing, or by being emeshed in situations/relationships that are chaotic, uncertain and emotionally painful, we keep from focusing on our responsibility to ourselves.
13. We may be predisposed biochemically as well as emotionally to abusing chemicals or certain foods, usually sugary ones.
14. We have a tendency toward episodes of depression, which we try to forestall through the excitement provided by an unstable relationship.
15. We are not attracted to men/women who are kind, stable, reliable and interested in us. We find such "nice" men/women boring.
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